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Marriage Guidance / Relationship Counselling
- London and South Hertfordshire -
Golders Green, NW11 or central London with Daren De Witt
Has your relationship hit troubled times?
Are you arguing frequently or not understanding one another?
has an issue arisen that is painful or difficult for the two of you to deal with?
Are you feeling overwhelmed and in need of support?
You CAN work through these issues to a place of deeper connection and love in your marriage / relationship!
All relationships going through cycles. Sometimes we have a strong sense of closeness, love and intimacy. At other times we feel distant, disconnected, angry and resentful. These cycles are natural. When things go wrong we may think or be told that it is because we are with the wrong person. However, it is more likely that our relationship is challenging us to work through the blocks and move to a deeper level of love and connection with one another.
Working through issues in relationships is not easy. It often helps to get support from someone who understands the deeper patterns and dynamics of relationships. Which is why it can be beneficial to seek relationship counselling / marriage guidance. This is not an admittance of failure but a statement of intent – that you value your relationship and want to put the effort into it that it deserves!
How and Why Daren De Witt Can Help You
- I am trained in relationship counselling, having completed a Diploma with the Centre for Gender Psychology. So I understand the dynamics that occur in relationships and I can help you to understand what is happening in your own relationship.
- I am a certifed trainer with, and London representative of, the Centre for Nonviolent Communication, which specialises in empathic listening. So I can help you to improve the quality of your listening to each other in your marriage or relationship.
- I am a trained mediator, so if you are in conflict with each other, I can help you find your way through to mutual understanding and I can help you come to agreements that work for you both. And your arguments won’t phase me!
- As a male, I am well placed to understand and support men, who often uncomfortable attending relationship counselling and can also be daunted at the thought of facing a female counsellor as well as their wife / partner! As a male, I can also share my own experience of relationship, and the lessons I have learned through applying the principles I have learnt in my own relationship.
- At the same time, through my training in empathic listening and in the principles of relationship communication, I am also well-placed to hear and understand women and help their partner to understand their perspective.
N.B. I am not a specialist in Gay or Lesbian relationships, however I am happy to support any gay or lesbian couples who are seeking help.
Relationship Counselling - How will I work with you?
-
First session: In our first session together, I will hear from you about the issues in your relationship that have brought you to relationship counselling / marriage guidance and begin to help you to gain some understanding about these issues. From your side, you will both have a chance to see how I work with you, whether it is helpful for you, and whether both of you feel comfortable working with me.
- Ongoing Sessions: If you feel comfortable with me and my approach, you may decide to continue with the sessions. You are free to come to as many relationship counselling / marriage guidance sessions as you wish. However, it can be helpful to think in terms of making a commitment to a block of 6 sessions. You can view this as making a commitment to and investment in your relationship. In this respect, relationships are no different from our work lives, where we need to commit to regular training and meetings if we want to make improvements!
- Session length: Individual session are usually either 60 or 90 mins in length. I am open to longer sessions if that would suit your circumstances better.
- Session Frequency: Many couples opt for fortnightly sessions, as this gives sufficient time for you to work on and explore material further before returning. If you are in crisis and need more support we can meet more frequently. After a course of 6 sessions, some couples choose to return monthly or bi-monthly, to help them maintain their relationship.
- Location: I run sessions from a counselling venue 5 minutes walk from Golders Green tube station, North West London, NW11. I can also use a central London venue by special arrangement, though this will cost extra. My Golders Green practice is also conveniently located 5 mins drive from the London A406 and near to the M1 / A1, which means that many locations from west to north London, are less than 30 mins from me. See the bottom of this page for more information about travelling times to my practice.
Fees per session for Relationship counselling / Marriage guidance
I run a sliding scale of fees, based on the combined gross income of the couple attending (whether married or not, or living together or not). Fees are outlined on the following table:
|
Annual combined
gross income
|
Monthly combined
gross income
|
Fee for one
hour session
|
Fee for 90
minute session
|
|
Less than £30,000
|
Less than £2,500
|
£60
|
£85
|
|
£30,000 to £60,000
|
£2,500 to £5,000
|
£75
|
£105
|
|
More than £60,000
|
More than £5,000
|
£90
|
£130
|
If you are wanting a 1-to-1 session about your relationship (i.e. without your partner), fees are as follows:
|
Monthly
gross income
|
Fee for one
hour session
|
Fee for 90
minute session
|
|
Less than £2,000
|
£50
|
£75
|
|
£2,000 to £4,000
|
£60
|
£85
|
|
More than £4,000
|
£70
|
£100
|
Interested in Relationship Counselling?
If you would like to book a relationship counselling session or talk this over further, please contact me, Daren, by email, by filling in the enquiry form on the right of this page or phoning me on 07968 034 828.
About Your Relationship Counsellor
Daren brings many skills to this work. He has completed a two-year specialist training in Couple Counselling and Relationship Psychotherapy, graduating with a Diploma in Creative Couplework with the Centre for Gender Psychology, with whom he is in regular supervision. He has also studied the Voice Dialogue approach to relationship problems. He has been practising and teaching Nonviolent Communication since the year 2000, and practicing as a mediator and mediation trainer since 1999.
Relationships Quote of the Month
Mind Reading
Faulty communication between the sexes is largely due to mistaken assumptions. One of the most common of those assumptions manifests itself as what we can call “mind reading”. Because men and women do not realise how different they are, they assume that they know what the other is thinking or feeling before it has been clearly stated.
True, women are quite accurate when mind reading other women, because they are already so similar. Likewise, men can accurately read the minds of other men. But when men and women start mind reading each other, trouble is inevitable.
A man prematurely decides that he knows what a woman is saying. His error lies in assuming that she started out making the point she wanted to make, as a man would. He may be listening and then, before the speaker is finished, say, “I got it, I got it.” This works fine with another man, but to a woman, his statement is preposterous. She knows that he can’t know what she intends to say, because many times she doesn’t even know. While sharing, she is in the process of finding out what she feels, thinks, or wants.
Men need to understand that if a woman needs to talk, and if his desire is to support her, then his purpose in listening is not just to get the gist of what she is saying, but to help her get it out. As she gets it out, without being interrupted, her view might change midstream or she might completely change the subject. She may start asking questions and then start answering them.
By expecting this to happen, he can avoid feeling frustrated. He needs to remember that just as he has to mull over his problems before talking about them, a woman needs to talk about her problems before she will have a definite opinion. If she feels overwhelmed by difficulties, just by talking about them she may feel better.
Sometimes she will even find out that there is no problem. But the last thing she needs when she is upset is for a man to tell her that there is no problem. The next-to-last thing she needs is for him to offer a string of solutions to whatever she is saying. Finally, the next-to-the-next-to-last-thing she needs from him is “OK, I got it!” To be interrupted by “I got it!” sounds like “Ok, OK, will you shut up, I don’t want to hear it anymore.”
Women also mind read, but in a different way. They tend to attribute negative interpretations to a man’s behaviour patterns. When he is quiet, she assumes he doesn’t care. When he is distracted, she assumes he doesn’t love her. When he is late, she assumes that she is no longer important to him. When he forgets to do things, she assumes he is getting even. When he shuts down, she assumes he is leaving her.
Because she is not a man, she has no reference point to help her understand why he does what he does. But she could look for the real and positive reasons for his behaviour; she could share her fears in a way that avoids blame but asks for reassurance.
From Mars and Venus: A Match Made in Heaven? by John Gray, pg 83, New Leaf, 1993.
Location of my Relationship Counselling / Marriage Guidance Practice
I work mainly from a counselling venue in Golders Green, 5 minutes walk from Golders Green tube station. My Golders Green practice is also conveniently located 5 mins drive from the London A406 and near to the M1 / A1, which means that many locations from west to north London, are less than 30 mins from me. I can also use a central London venue by special arrangement, though this will cost extra. The followings areas are within easy access of my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice in Golders Green, either by tube or car:
Aldenham, WD25; Alperton, HA0; Archway, N19; Arnos Grove, N11; Barnet, EN5; Belsize Park, NW3; Borehamwood, WD6; Brent Cross, NW4; Brent Park, NW10; Brondesbury Park, NW6; Burnt Oak, HA8; Bushey, WD23; Bushey Heath, WD23; Cannons Park, HA8; Central London, W1D; Chalk Farm, NW1; Childs Hill, NW2; Colindale, NW9; Cockfosters, EN4; Cricklewood, NW2; Crouch End, N8; Dollis Hill, NW2; Ealing, W5; East Finchley, N2; Edgeware, HA8; Edmonton, N9; Elstree, WD6; Enfield, EN2; Fortis Green, N2; Fortune Green, NW6; Fryent Country Park, NW9; Gladstone Park, NW10; Golders Green, NW11; Greenhill, HA1; Hampstead, NW3; Hampstead Garden Suburb, NW11; Harlesden, NW10; Harrow, HA1; Harrow Weald, HA3; Hatch End, HA5; Hendon, NW4; Highgate, N6; Holloway, N7; Hornsey, N8; Kentish Town, NW5; Kenton, HA3; Kilburn, NW6; Kings Cross, NW1; Kingsbury Circle, HA3; Ladbroke Grove, W10; Maida Hill, W9; Maida Vale, W9; Mill Hill, NW7; Muswell Hill, N10; Marylebone, NW1; Neasden, NW2; North Acton, W3; North Ealing, W3; North Harrow, HA2; North London; North West London; Oakwood, EN4; Paddington, W2; Palmers Green, N13; Park Royal, NW10; Perivale, UB6; Pinner, HA5; Potters Bar, EN6; Princes Park, NW11; Queens Wood, N6; Queensbury, HA7; Radlett, WD7; Regents Park, NW8; South Harrow, HA2; South Oxney, WD19; St Johns Wood, NW8; Stanmore, HA7; Stonebridge Park, NW10; Stroud Green, N4; Sudbury, HA0; Tufnell Park, N7; Tottenham, N17; Tottenham Court Rd, W1D; Totteridge, N20; Watford, WD17; Wealdstone, HA3; Wembley, HA9; West Acton, W3; West Ealing, W13; West Hampstead, NW6; West London; Whetstone, N20; Willesden, NW2; Willesden Green, NW2; Willesden Junction, NW10; Woodside Park, N12.
Travel times to my Golders Green practice by car
Distances by car in time to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice in Golders Green (in rush hour times may vary, depending on location):
Aldenham, WD25:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Aldenham, Hertfordshire, WD25
Alperton, HA0:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Alperton, West London, HA0
Archway, N19:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Archway, North London, N19
Arnos Grove, N11:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Arnos Grove, Enfield, North London, N11
Barnet, EN5:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Barnet, Barnet, North London, EN5
Belsize Park, NW3:
Less than 10 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Belsize Park, North West London, NW3
Borehamwood, WD6:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Borehamwood, Hertfordshire, WD6
Brent Cross, NW4:
Less than 10 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Brent Cross, North West London, NW4
Brent Park, NW10:
Less than 15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Brent Park, North West London, NW10
Brondesbury Park, NW6:
Less than 10 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Brondesbury Park, North West London, NW6
Burnt Oak, HA8:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Burnt Oak, North West London, HA8
Bushey, WD23:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Bushey, North West London, WD23
Bushey Heath, WD23:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Bushey Heath, North West London, WD23
Cannons Park, HA8:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Cannons Park, North West London, HA8
Central London, W1D:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Tottenham Court Rd station, Central London, W1D
Chalk Farm, NW1:
Less than 15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Chalk Farm, North West London, NW1
Childs Hill, NW2:
Less than 5 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Childs Hill, North West London, NW2
Cockfosters, EN4:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Cockfosters, North West London, EN4
Colindale, NW9:
Less than 15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Colindale, North West London, NW9
Cricklewood, NW2:
Less than 5 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Cricklewood, Barnet, Brent & Camden, North West London, NW2
Crouch End, N8:
Less than 15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Crouch End, North London, N8
Dollis Hill, NW2:
Less than 10 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Dollis Hill, North West London, NW2
Ealing, W5:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Ealing, West London, W5
East Finchley, N2:
Less than 10 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from East Finchley, North London, N2
Edgeware, HA8:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Edgeware, Hertfordshire, HA8
Edmonton, N9:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Edmonton, North London, N9
Elstree, WD6:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Elstree, Hertfordshire, WD6
Enfield, EN2:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Enfield, Enfield, North London, EN2
Fortis Green, N2:
Less than 12 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Fortis Green, North London, N2
Fortune Green, NW6:
5 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Fortune Green, North West London, NW6
Fryent Country Park, NW9:
Less than 15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Fryent Country Park, North West London, NW9
Gladstone Park, NW10:
Less than 15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Gladstone Park, North West London, NW10
Golders Green, NW11:
My relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice is in Golders Green, North West London, NW11
Greenhill, HA1:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Greenhill, HA1, North West London, HA1
Hampstead, NW3:
5 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Hampstead, North West London, NW3
Hampstead Garden Suburb, NW11:
5 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Hampstead Garden Suburb, North West London, NW11
Harlesden, NW10:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Harlesden, North West London, NW10
Harrow, HA1:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Harrow, North West London, HA1
Harrow Weald, HA3:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Harrow Weald, North West London, HA3
Hatch End, HA5:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Hatch End, North West London, HA5
Hendon, NW4:
Less than 7 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Hendon, North West London, NW4
Highgate, N6:
Less than 15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Highgate, North London, N6
Holloway, N7:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Holloway, North London, N7
Hornsey, N8:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Hornsey, North London, N8
Kentish Town, NW5:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Kentish Town, North West London, NW5
Kenton, HA3:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Kenton, North West London, HA3
Kilburn, NW6:
10 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Kilburn, North West London, NW6
Kingsbury Circle, HA3:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Kingsbury Circle, North West London, HA3
Kings Cross, NW1:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Kings Cross, London, NW1
Ladbroke Grove, NW10:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Ladbroke Grove, West London, W10
Maida Hill, W9:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Maida Hill, West London, W9
Maida Vale, W9:
Less than 15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Maida Hill, West London, W9
Mill Hill, NW7:
Less than 15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Mill Hill, North West London, NW7
Marylebone, NW1:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Marylebone, London NW1
Muswell Hill, N10:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Muswell Hill, North London, N10
Neasden, NW2:
Less than 10 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Neasden, North West London, NW2
North Acton, W3:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from North Acton, West London, W3
North Ealing, W3:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from North Ealing, West London, W3
North Harrow, HA2:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from North Harrow, North West London, HA2
Oakwood, EN4:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Oakwood, North London, EN4
Paddington, W2:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Paddington, West London, W2
Palmers Green, N13:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Palmers Green, North London, N13
Park Royal, NW10:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Park Royal, North West London, NW10
Perivale, UB6:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Perivale, North West London, UB6
Pinner, HA5:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Pinner, North West London, HA5
Potters Bar, EN6:
Less than 35 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire, EN6
Princes Park, NW11:
5 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Princes Park, North West London, NW11
Queensbury, HA7:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Queensbury, North West London, HA7
Queens Wood, N6:
15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance gement practice from Queens Wood, North London, N6
Radlett, WD7:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Radlett, North West London, WD7
Regents Park, NW8:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Regents Park, North West London, NW8
Roxeth, HA2:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Roxeth, North West London, HA2
South Harrow, HA2:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from South Harrow, North West London, HA2
South Oxney, WD19:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from South Oxney, North West London, WD19
St Johns Wood, NW8:
Less than 15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from St Johns Wood, North West London, NW8
Stanmore, HA7:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Stanmore, North West London, HA7
Stonebridge Park, NW10:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Stonebridge Park, North West London, NW10
Stroud Green, N4:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Stroud Green, North London, N4
Sudbury, HA0:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Sudbury, North West London, HA0
Tottenham, N17:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Tottenham, Haringey, North London, N17
Tottenham Court Rd, W1D:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Tottenham Court Rd, central London, W1D
Totteridge, N20:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Totteridge, North London, N20
Tufnell Park, N7:
15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Tufnell Park, North London, N7
Watford, WD17:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Watford, Hertfordshire, Wd17
Wealdstone, HA3:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Wealdstone, Harrow, HA3
Wembley, HA9:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Wembley, Middlesex, HA9
West Acton, W3:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from West Acton, West London, W3
West Ealing, W13:
Less than 30 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from West Ealing, West London, W13
West Hampstead, NW6:
Less than 10 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from West Hampstead, North West London, NW6
Whetstone, N20:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Whetstone, North London, N20
Willesden, NW2:
Less than 15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Willesden, North West London, NW2
Willesden Green, NW2:
Less than 15 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Willesden Green, North West London, NW2
Willesden Junction, NW10:
Less than 25 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Willesden Junction, North West London, NW10
Woodside Park, N12:
Less than 20 mins to my relationship counselling / marriage guidance practice from Woodside Park, North London, N12
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